15.9.10

Dumbfounded By Grace


The amazing thing to me about grace is how unexpectedly it showed up in my life; and how I continue to trip over it in my daily routine, sometimes barely noticing it at all. I did not pursue grace; it sought me. And I am sad to say that in my day-to-day life it has become something that I take for granted, something that I forget is even around. (Dare I say it sometimes I think I might even resent it.)

It scares me to think, of how often I abuse God’s grace, not just daily but moment by moment. I am not worried that He will withdraw His hand from me or that His grace will no longer be mine. But that I am missing out on the full extent of His grace, that I am living not knowing the fullness of His love and mercy. While I am trying to live UP to His grace I am missing out, because I am not living IN His grace.

Grace is not my favorite old pair of jeans. (You know the pair, worn out in all the right places.) Grace should not be something, that we become accustomed to or comfortable with. It is not something to be worn, but not remembered, or pulled out when there is nothing else to wear.

This might seem silly, but I believe grace should be a little uncomfortable. Grace should be something that we never get used to. It should be something that surprises us daily. The story of the cross should move us, not only to tears -but to action. Our lives should be testimony to God’s goodness, but with no hesitance to admit our own failures. And the humility to realize that our acknowledgement of our salvation is that God is good and we are not. If we boast let it be of God’s goodness, if we fight let it be for His glory, and when we sing let it be for Him alone.

Grace was not given so that we might forget our former selves, but so we might know God, and walk with Him. Worship is not amazing because God is worthy, it is amazing because we are so UNWORTHY, and yet He accepts it. He accepts us, He forgives, and He changes us. And His grace continues through our lives in silly little day-to-day routines, in huge life changing decisions, and in the peace we have from knowing HIM.

I have gotten much to comfortable in my God’s grace so much that worship, obedience, spending time with Him has become a chore and not a privilege. Worship should be the automatic response of Christians to God. He is ours! We are His! We should be dumbfounded that He would call us His children.

Christians have become haughty in our knowledge of Christ, arrogant in teaching His ways, and boastful of how we sing of His love. When we should be dumbfound.

Honestly, I do not understand my God, why He calls me to love, people whom I do not want to love. When He tells me to teach and it seems that no one is listening -when I want to sing of HIS love, and I cannot even focus on Him.

I am amazed by His continued grace, not only because I am so unworthy, I am forgetful of His faithfulness.

I pray, that I may see God’s grace in my life and that I may be able to recognize it and rejoice in it; that His grace may be made evident, and not forgotten. That I may be daily dumbfounded by the fact that He loves me!

He loves me. His grace was unexpected because I could never have imagined how it would change and mold me. His goodness astounds me, because it is so far from what I am. And that is why grace is uncomfortable. It’s a gift, it’s a calling, it’s love, its’ simply dumbfounding.

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