God and I should be past introductions at this point; and yet somehow my life is full of little introductions from God. Little hints of who He is left around, for me to find. Like a scavenger hunt I follow them around; He continually proves the truth of His Word. I never cease to be amazed at what I find when I dig through Scripture.
Language school has consumed my life. Learning has become all I do. I go to bed at night praying for God to make me smart. I dream about word drills. I wake up counting and saying my colors. Obsessed, perhaps?
I am surrounded by a language that I do not know. (There is quite a bit of English, but when people really get to talking the English is less and less.) I can listen, but I can not hear it. I strain to hear, to understand -if I am lucky I will catch a verb or a pronoun. But still I am at a loss for the meaning.
I have ears, but I cannot hear. I have a mouth but I can not speak.
Interestingly enough, this is a common theme in His Word. Idols. A rebellious house. The disciples when they were being rebuked for their hard and forgetful hearts. Look it up, read your Bible, the theme is never a good thing.
Ears that do not hear is life without breath.
Before these verses, were just pieces of His truth that did not make much or any sense to me. And I am sure that indepth I do not understand them fully yet. But I can say that God has given me a new understanding of having ears and yet not hearing.
There is not a word that I know in the English language that can describe the insanity that ensues the humiliation and frustration of learning a new language. As soon as I conquer a one word, I move to the next. As soon as I conquer that one, I find I am battling again the pronunciation of the first word. It is mind boggling. It is mind bending. It hurts my head.
There are sounds that I did not even know I was capable of making coming out of my mouth. Sometimes victoriously, and sometimes just an awkward mistake.
It is wearisome. Tedious. And sometimes, I just don’t wanna!
In Psalms 16, it says, “the sorrows who run after other gods shall multiply.”
I am learning so that I may have a voice in someone else’s mother tongue. I am learning because those sorrowful people were made by God too, and He wants to give them abundant life.
I have ears that are learning to hear, and a mouth that is beginning to be able to speak. I have hope, because my God is big. I have life because my God is the giver of life. And my hard heart is being broken so that I can remember the miracles of my God and have faith in the work of His hand.