25.9.11

My Two Worlds


I suppose you could say I am sitting on a fence not completely in one world but partly in both. I am an alien after all, you know. A legal one. I went to the office of aliens, spoke to an alien representative, some fingerprints were taken, and a picture. Voila. Legal alien, yup that is me.

I have lived in two worlds before, traveling home each year to Christmas and home.  It was in those days, that I realized I am never completely anywhere, because their will always be something or someone to be missed.

Let me explain my current worlds a bit. In one I am an exotic beauty. Tall. Rich. I give my clothes away to the poor. In the other world, I fit in. I am not tall. I am not short. I am not rich in fact people give me their old clothes. And I take them thankfully. It is funny, because though I am the same person in both worlds, but my worlds perceive me differently.

Last month, a dear friend came and visited me. She brought gifts it was like Christmas. Truthfully she brought pieces of home and that was thrilling. I showed her my small washer and informed her if she wanted clothes dried fast we could pin them to the fan. About my shower I explained, I don’t always have water so if nothing comes out of the shower here is the bucket to bathe with. (At least I think I explained that?) To her I was sacrificing. To me too sometimes, but in truth it is just the world that I am most in right now.

This month, another friend is staying with me. She helped me catch up on my laundry just because she had never seen anything spin like that before. She boiled eggs in my rice cooker because she did not know how to turn on my stovetop. I taught her how to use a microwave. She made toast, and jumped with surprise when the bread popped back out, she told me, “I had never used a toaster before.” To her I am rich. To me too sometimes, but in truth it is just the world that I am most in right now.

I am rich. And I am poor. I am the giver. I am the receiver. I am a citizen far away from my country. I am living life by a set of rules I did not grow up with. I am living life within a context that does not always apply to me.

Sometimes the sacrifice makes me want to scream in discomfort and yet sometimes I am ashamed of how very little it takes to make me feel as though I am sacrificing.

In one world I raise my eyebrows at a man on a tricycle, he stops, and I climb in while in the other world I grab my keys, get in the car, and I go.

The only colliding of worlds is that I am in one and from another. Sometimes the collision is a harsh one. Sometimes it even hurts.

I define life in a certain way. I have expectations. I am ignorant of the silent announcements being screamed all around me. Sometimes I run to keep up with those around me and sometimes I stop. I take a deep breath and wonder why I try so hard to please people.

It is easy to cling to the world I am from, to hold to it tightly and find fault in my host world. And worry about my own pleasure. But the reality is, and the truth remains, God is the maker of both worlds. He sees them honestly. I see them through a bias.

There are times in this new world I am in, that I have to slap myself. I scold myself, I tell myself to get over my discomfort. And I do. And I please people.

There are times when in this new world however, when I cannot please people. I cannot encourage holding to superstitious beliefs. I cannot condone lies no matter how petty, as a means of salvaging pride. So, in love I scold them. I remind them of the freedom we have in Christ. That we are a new creation, old things have passed away. And I please God.

Sometimes my worlds seem so different from one another that it is overwhelming.  Humanity is worn differently on different peoples, but the basis of man is still the seed of Adam. The image of God perverted, smeared, and stained.

I am walking a tightrope. I did not come here to identify with man. I did not come to make friends.

In truth, it is a safe tightrope. I came here to help man identify with the true God. I came here to help people make friends with Jesus Christ.

So here, I am. Sitting on a fence. Walking a tightrope. Building relationships that push people towards an undeserved holiness.

Building relationships through sometimes the oddest of circumstances.

Do not fool yourself into thinking that I am or any other missionary is anything special. Do not kid your self, you are also in two worlds.

Christa Wells sings, “Is it time to lay our comfort down? 
Time to give ‘til it hurts. Empty our cup into our brothers’ hands. 
Is this the kingdom coming?”

The Bible says that the fields are ready for harvest.

I am not saying that it will be easy. Or comfortable. But I am telling you the kingdom is coming.

The world is waiting.

And I am not the only alien. If you have been found in Christ you are a new creation; no longer of this world. Your home is now in Christ.

You are already on the fence, the question is: Are you ready to give until it hurts?

Are you ready to be the different one? The alien? The tightrope walker?

Please note. I am not trying to glorify my discomfort. Rather, I am inviting you to join me.

Trust me, when I tell you that discomfort for the sake of glorifying God is a good place to start in pleasing Him. God is faithful to comfort His children. And the most comforting thought to fall asleep to at night is that you pleased God. Not man. Not yourself. Only God.


Be a part of what God is doing, because the kingdom is coming.
And God is at work.  

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full into His wonderful face. 
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of Hs glory and grace.


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