Not my Will, but Your Glory

Recent events have made me feel a bit differently towards the cross. I confess, I have taken Jesus' death on the cross for granted and might have even devalued it in the past. As embarrassed as I am to admit it, I am thankful to God for His rod and His staff that prod me along the way, comforting me -reminding me of His presence.

I have always known Christ suffered on the cross, I had just never known pain. I have always understood that He went willingly I just had not thought about the fact that He understood what would happen. 

Trials, frustrations, and times of trouble take us humans by surprise. My experience with trouble has been like a slap in the face, a surprising event that leaves me trying to pinpoint my specific guilt that caused it. (Or arguing my innocence.)

Maybe I should not be so bold as to label last month as a trial but it was definitely an opportunity to prove my Savior. A test of faith that knocked me over, bruised me up, and left me with a small tinge of, 'Why me?'

The problem with that question is that God is sovereign. Trials. Frustrations. Times of trouble were promised by Jesus. The differences between man and God is that man is caught off guard by frustrations and trials, God is not surprised. Man seeks an understanding of who done it. (Followed by revenge.) God seeks glory to His name. Man struggles with remaining holy through such times, while holiness is simply God in His natural state.

Last Sunday, I sat in awe of God. Amazed at the sacrifice of His son.

I did not know my trial was coming. I was not in control, it just happened. If given a choice I would have been more than unwilling. I would have safeguarded my comforts and disobeyed. I had no idea of the opportunity I was going to be given to choose forgiveness. Holiness. He did.

Jesus came to this earth knowing He would be despised. Knowing He would die on the cross. He came with a full understanding of the pain that would He suffer. And He still came.

His time of prayer before the cross has taken on a new meaning for me. I have never understood it and truthfully have even wrestled with that passage. I am so thankful for it now.

I want to be that holy. I want to be so holy that I pray with an overwhelmed heart, asking God for no test or trial, but still crying out in honesty, ‘Not my will but YOURS.”

I want to be so full of faith that when my friends fail me I do not lose sight of the truth.

That when trials do take me by surprise I focus on accomplishing His will not safeguarding the few comforts I have left.

That prayer has always seemed like a special occasion prayer to me; but I realize now the example that it is. The everyday need for it.

Jesus dying was a trial. Do you remember the teachers and the elders mocking Jesus? “ You saved others but you cannot save yourself?”

If Jesus had saved Himself from the cross His power would have been revealed but salvation would not have been accomplished. The Old Testament prophecies would have been left unfulfilled. We would have remained distant from God.

The cross was a terrible gruesome event with physical blood, wounds, and pain. The distress of his body is heart-wrenching to me. I am so thankful for the healing that His stripes offer.

He became sin, who knew no sin so that we might become the righteousness of God.

Jesus bore my sins. He became nothing being made in the form of a man. He became obedient to death, even to death on the cross. He humbled himself, took on the sins of mankind, and rose victorious over death.

Redemption was fulfilled because Jesus bore our sins. Holy. Righteous. Perfect. He was lead by the Father, lived pleasing to the Father, and fulfilled the law.

There was no shred of hope in saving ourselves. Nothing good that Jesus saw. His death made it possible for us to approach God. To be His children.

With no hope of salvation, I think it can safely be said that likewise neither can we remain nice, holy, and righteous during times of trial UNLESS we follow Christ's example. And we pray about. Earnestly. Honestly. Beg God. Not my will, but YOUR GLORY.

I hope I can learn to walk through trials like Jesus; focused on accomplishing God’s will. I am not asking or wanting trouble, but I am realizing that following the example of Christ means living out the details of life not in my will but His.

And if His death was so that I might become the righteousness of God...I want to take sin seriously. I want to be holy. I want to live in the righteousness He has given me. Pleasing the Father with the details of my life.

I want to walk into situations with a determined holiness that pleases God. Focused on Him- unmoving in my devotion  whether the world chooses to hate me or not. I want to be so righteous that I desire HIS will more than my own. I want to be worthy of the calling and the name of Jesus Christ.

Sweet brothers and sisters in Christ, do you realize that when we fail to be holy we do a disservice to the lost world watching us? Trials come to test us so that our faith might be proved.

I do not know what you are walking through or what hardship is about to unfold in your life. But take courage! He has already overcome! Find comfort and peace in the salvation that Jesus has given, live holy, act righteously, and pray earnestly. Live in His holiness and righteousness. 

Take the opportunity the test is giving you and prove your Savior by your faith, hope, and righteousness.


  1. Thank you, Lizzie. I can't wait to see you in person and hear more of what He's been doing in/through you through the events of last month (although probably won't be much of that seeing there's a WEDDING 'n all ;)). But at least I get to give you a hug, and I'm pretty excited about that! Love you, friend :)

    1. Kimboleelee! I am so excited to see you too! And get excited cause I have jobs for you and SB. Fun jobs like cake cutting! I love you!!!


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